In madness I changed my mind thousand times a day. I'm happy, then I'm not. I feel broken, then I healed. I lost, and then I found. But it would be better to be found.
But despite all crazy things about me being bipolar bitch, I believe in one thing: that whatever gonna happen on us in future, whether we still together a year, maybe ten years from now or not, I want to hold on those happy moment we spent. Like,
the way you smile and laugh
the way you look at me
the way you hold my hand
and how annoying your habits to sing some part of lyric out of nowhere.
The way you move
touch me
embrace me
protecting
and how you made me feel.
Safe and sound. As if there's nothing bad is gonna happen when you're around
or if we stick together
through thick or thin.
The faith you always had when you talk about your future
and me in it, make it ours.
How frustrated you made me when you're not calling,
and makes me up all night (well almost midnight I guess)
then I fell asleep in either tears, anger or worries.
I need to remember all those things. Because if I'm not then there's nothing good left for me when a day goes by so sucky it get worse and make the worst day for me cause all I had is bad memories.
And again, it'll changes me.
And I'll be one thing I never wanna be.
Misanthropy.
Pretty scary, right?
Oh how I wish I could be brave enough to believing, cause obviously I'm not any good at it.
But tonight, I miss you a lot dear. A lot. Huge.
I miss you with all my heart, my soul.
I miss you so much it hurts.
Mind and body. Heart and head.
Makes me feel like I need some great sleep. But you know I can't without your arms as my pillow.
So I'm just gonna take off now, go to bed.
Imagine your warmth, your skin and goodnight sleep I'm gonna get from you.
Pretend you're near and hope you'll be right next to me when I wake up.
Somehow, just get here.
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